Introducting Theadora Siranian

Theadora Siranian is a poet and teacher currently living in Kazakhstan. Her poetry has appeared in Best New Poets, Ghost City Press, and Atticus Review, among others. In 2014, she was shortlisted for both the Mississippi Review Prize and Southword’s Gregory O’Donoghue International Poetry Prize. In 2019, Theadora received the Emerging Woman Poet Honor from Small Orange Journal. Her chapbook, She, was released by Seven Kitchens Press in May 2021. More of her work can be found at theadorasiranian.com.

Less the Rescue

The year I tried to trick grief

we stood in the airport

parking garage, smoking

cigarettes and staring at one

another, grief finally kissing 

me firmly on the mouth

before smiling knowingly

and heading for the stairwell.

In truth, it was the years

of waiting that kept me going,

M. warning me over 

the telephone as I stood naked, 

staring into a motel mirror:

beware the void, the void.

But that was only one of my

lives—each more lovely

and vicious than the previous,

each earth turning on its axis

adamantine, the standing waves

of endless oceans offering gifts 

below you must be willing

to drown to discover, wreckers

waiting at the shoreline for

the moment you lose your footing.

In one life I lost my freedom

to a man in a tent

staked to a barren hillside,

his fingers finding my hair

in the morning to toss me toward

his waiting truck.

In another I had sisters, three,

and each told a different

story of our conception.

The first claimed our mother loved

a bull, the second that our father

was a hypnotist who tricked

fairgoers into sex involving blood

rituals with the snake charmer’s 

python. The third sister told me

her version while I slept, and I can 

return to it only in dreams. Then,

a woman wearing a wedding 

dress makes love to me

in the grey dishwater waves

of some cold, abandoned shore.

Here, then, I know I’m not 

mad, to be so divided, to love

and loathe in equal parts like some 

ever-bending switch in the wind. 

She stands soaking and bedraggled

beneath the ferrous sky, no longer

looking at me, and walks away 

down the beach. I watch her go, slip

a stone under my tongue, a token

to ferry between this world and the waking.

Originally published in South Dakota Review, Fall 2019