Nancy Agabian: The Modern Goddess Myth about Microwaves

Turn on the microwave move the dials it

heats it heats it makes it hot but nobody

knows how she turned on the microwave

whenever she was depressed, even if there

was nothing inside she turned it on and

watched the carousel turning

around and around and around.

Pretty soon a frozen pizza appeared. She

turned it off (beep beep) and released

the vault handle and lifted the pizza

out.  It was heavy and cold hard; she couldn't

eat it but flung it out the window

instead.  It hit her husband as he was

coming home from work, the alcoholic

husband who beat her then apologized.

It hit him on the head and he was dead.

He died right there; she took his pulse.

He wasn't pulsing; she cried hot tears

(microwave-able).  She had the funeral

a few days later and started going to

therapy and turned her life around.  She

got happy and when the microwave broke

she sold it at her neighbor's yard sale.

Her name was Loretta, the Goddess Loretta

and the Microwave: it is a myth, remember

it and refer to it in academic papers

5000 years from now.