Friday, March 26, 2010

Nancy Agabian: The Modern Goddess Myth about Microwaves

Turn on the microwave move the dials it
heats it heats it makes it hot but nobody
knows how she turned on the microwave
whenever she was depressed, even if there
was nothing inside she turned it on and
watched the carousel turning
around and around and around.
Pretty soon a frozen pizza appeared. She
turned it off (beep beep) and released
the vault handle and lifted the pizza
out.  It was heavy and cold hard; she couldn't
eat it but flung it out the window
instead.  It hit her husband as he was
coming home from work, the alcoholic
husband who beat her then apologized.
It hit him on the head and he was dead.
He died right there; she took his pulse.
He wasn't pulsing; she cried hot tears
(microwave-able).  She had the funeral
a few days later and started going to
therapy and turned her life around.  She
got happy and when the microwave broke
she sold it at her neighbor's yard sale.
Her name was Loretta, the Goddess Loretta
and the Microwave: it is a myth, remember
it and refer to it in academic papers
5000 years from now.

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