Kevork Kalayjian: TAX TIPS FOR ARTISTS AND WRITERS
First you have to add all your expenses.
An expense is any outlay of cash,
or anything of monetary value
which is deemed necessary
to get you that which drives you;
to repeat the noises you hear,
to convey the feelings you live,
to express the things you imagine,
to transform the pain to laughter,
to put tears in the eye of the cynic,
to put a smile on a child's face,
that which you call inspiration.
Everything you do to achieve
inspiration, is a deductible expense;
the trip you took to Utah
to see the gas station attendant
who replaced the murdered one,
your search of your roots
in Upstate New York, Rumania,
England, France or Tasmania,
your trip to the corner drug store,
your experience of 'love' on 42nd Street,
your train ride, just to witness
the walls pass you by,
all are deductible expenses,
as long as you can document them
with your diaries and receipts.
And then of course your entrance fees
at 'T. T. The Bears' or the other place
your beer, your cigarette, your ... as long as,
it's instrumental in getting you inspired.
Once you add all your expenses
it's time to figure out your income.
An income is anything of monetary value
which you obtain in the process of
dispensing inspiration.
So you add all your royalties,
a "thank you" here, a "good work" there
sale of your book, 13 cents each,
sale of your waterbed 89 dollars,
sale of your soul to your creative impulse.
Add to your income the profit you share
from throwing yourself into the ocean
don't forget to say something about
the survival of the whales,
the concentration camps,
they are still popular, and a good source
for a quick return on investment,
like justice, truth, and the happiness pursuit,
they are the in thing, and they will bear fruit.
Don't forget the income you obtain
from your part-time work at McDonalds,
your full time trial period at the museum,
the hospital, the grocery store, the office job.
When you have all these facts and your backups,
place them all in a shoebox, and go to
the I. R. S. Taxpayer Assistance line,
or you can all come to me,
I have no problems
in counting your blessings.
--
Kevork K. Kalayjian, Jr.
This poem appears in Love Lure: A Collection of Love Poems and Other Writings, published in New York, 2010 - Ed.
